I've been trying to write about today. How this time of the year always leaves me irritable and cranky. Why do these two events coincide? Skip it. Skip it please.
So I ran today. I needed to work on the boat with the captain. I got to Maquinit, breathless and sweaty.
So here's me reminding myself: To new beginnings. To not be afraid to start over. Each day is a reset. To stop looking at the past with regret. To look forward to life. And to be brave enough for new adventures.
And as for that other event? I always need reminding that her greatest gift for each of us was this silly, oftentimes crazy, utterly human, but most amazing fan club I will ever have.
I've lived in this house all my life. Except for a few days at a time when I go on vacation, I don't know what it's like to prepare my own meals, sort through my laundry, do the maintenance work, etc for extended periods of time. When my siblings were in their twenties, they all experienced moving out of this house: whether for school or just the need to practice independence. Little by little, each of those siblings have somehow found their way back. Having seen my siblings go through the moving out-moving back in experience, I don't feel the need to do so.
This house keeps me grounded. It's where I get to hear my dad mock me if I arrive home too late (Ang aga mo naman umuwi) or if I stay at home the whole day (Ano, wala kang lakad?). It's where a home-cooked meal is waiting for me after a long day in school or play. It's where I get to share snippets of pop culture, basketball, tech stuff, movies and the other nuances of daily life with my brothers.
This is comfort. This is home.
Edit: and all those reasons are exactly why I go crazy staying at home.